26. January 2010 by Starr.

“As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it  yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth:  It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” 

Our ultimate goal in life is to accomplish what God desires for us and to achieve the purpose for which He sent us here in the first place.  We must make sure that each thing we do, is within God’s will, so that we do not stray from our work and waste precious time on things that do not pull us forward or keep us from achieving our purpose.  We must keep our eye on the prize.

Sometimes, it is very hard to keep positive and keep our eyes on our goal in Christ, especially when stress and struggles of this broken world zap our courage and our strength.  Take heart, because in this last sentence in this passage in Isaiah, notice that it doesn’t say…”I will try to….or… I may….God says…”I WILL ACCOMPLISH WHAT I DESIRE.”  

Trust in Him.  Whatever it is today that you know He has promised you…keep trusting and keep having faith and keep praying.  In His perfect timing, He will accomplish it.

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25. January 2010 by Starr.

If there were dreams to sell, what would you buy?

Would you not buy your wish fulfilled?  What, then, would that wish be? 

“He who does not imagine in stronger and better lineaments, and in stronger and better light than his perishing and mortal eye can see, does not imagine at all.”  Blake

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22. January 2010 by Starr.

“The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart.”

                                                                                                                         –Josiah G. Holland

I’m finding myself calling on God’s strength and finding that God seems to have, once again, put me on Night Watch…prayers and watches in the night…sleep is nowhere ….i think i have soaked the one area in my carpet below my prayer window so many times lately from sobbing in it that it may possibly be needing to be replaced soon, for i am certain i probably am destroying the hardwood flooring beneath it.  God has been telling me to use His strength not my own…for my own is not enough…to remember His words..remember that i was chosen…despite that fact that people here on earth may make me feel less than chosen….i have been chosen by the King…and He has chosen someone for me and i have victory and peace and joy in that….He has told me to remember His works…remember what He is doing in my life….I am a prized posession of God’s and of my Intended Love that God created for me….anything else is just less than worthy of my heart.

 That doesn’t mean i don’t have many hours yet of crying and praying and calling on God’s strength to help me get through these difficult hours…especially when i am trying to raise teenagers who seem to want to battle with me over things that do not  even matter, and cannot even seem to grasp the simple concept of respect, obedience and the big picture of what really matters in life….its all so frustrating when you have a mother’s heart and you want to do the best for your children and yet…you seem to keep getting kicked down and yet you pick yourself up and try again…and try to discipline …try to be the mom and the dad where the dads in their lives have failed them…and yet you are always the bad guy for trying…because they, in their 15 year old minds…are just wanting what they want when they want it and they can’t think past that moment.  It’s hard and it’s hurtful …and sometimes it’s so very exhausting…but i know, because God told me so….that God will send a Godly example and helper and teacher and will heal all these things and will make all things new and He will help guide me and help me to be the kind of mother and wife that He wants me to be …and i do remember that His mercies are new every morning.  I Keep trying because of love….i do believe that no man gets left behind…nothing is more important than those who i give my heart to.  I give up on no one, unless they want to be left…unless they choose to walk away and choose death over life.  Nothing is more important to me than my family and their hearts and lives.  Nothing…not things…not money…nothing.  My family means more to me than anything.

So…in case I’m not here tomorrow, in case God calls me home, My dearest ones, I want to say this now, in case I don’t get another chance…Colley, Morgan, Jerrod, Ethan, William, Sarah, Felicia, Reggie, Christopher…Mom, Robin and Austin…I love you all.

cs

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15. January 2010 by Starr.

A simply thought today as I continue on this planet, as Satan uses others to try to throw slings and arrows to try to distract me from my purpose and my work at hand, to try to hurt me or dissuade me from what I know is true…

“You can tell what they are by what they do.”    ~Matthew 7:16

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13. January 2010 by Starr.

This post is Dedicated especially for GJF. 

I’m sure most women out there can relate to this need for me to quote something that I have read to someone, so to my blog readers and followers, please allow me this space to speak directly to Jacob.  For my own peace of mind, and for me to just know in my heart that I have said all I needed/wanted to say, (no matter of Jacob actually reads this or not) and just for me to know for the rest of my life that the things I have needed to say were not just “me ranting” but …were actually valid points to make…I wanted from my heart to lovingly state these not in a hateful “Oh, see I was right”  attitude…but..in an attidude of Christ’s tender love…for Jacob…I know our marriage is dead and buried and gone…and God has not resurrected it.  But, for you personally, as a child of the King…I do hope that you grow and learn from the experience you had with this family and that my words  are remembered by you someday.  I post this quote to you here, so that you can see that it isn’t just me…it is, after all, biblical, and I just didn’t want to go on in life, knowing I didn’t do all that I could for your salvation, for your heart and mind and spirit.  I hope that, after all that you did, you can learn to forgive yourself, that you can learn that Satan does attack and that God can turn things around for good, if you are open to that goodness, and also, that Relationships are what life is all about.  The main thing I hope to accomplish by this post is:  The greatest gift you can give someone is your time. 

Quoted from “The Purpose Driven Life” 

“I have been at the bedside of many people in their final moments, when they stand on the edge of eternity and I have never heard anyone say, “Bring me my diplomas!  I want to look at them one more time.  Show me my awards, my medals, that gold watch I was given.”  When life on earth is ending, people don’t surround themselves with objects.  What we want around us is people–people we love and have relationships with.

     In our final moments we all realize that relationships are what life is all about.  Wisdom is learning that truth sooner rather than later.  Don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed to figure out that nothing matters most.

     We will be evaluated on our love.  The third reason to make learning to love the goal of your life is that it is what we will be evaluated on in eternity.  One of the ways God measures spiritual maturity is by the quality of your relqationships.  In heaven God won’t say, “Tell me about your career, your bank account, and your hobbies.”  Instead he will review how you treated other people, particularly those in need.  Jesus said the way to love him is to love his family and care for their practical needs:  “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.”

     When you transfer into eternity, you will leave everything else behind.  All you’re taking with you is your character.  That’s why the Bible says, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”

     Knowing this, I suggest that when you wake up every morning, you kneel by your bed, or sit on the edge of it, and pray this:  “God, whether I get anything else done today, I want to make sure that I spend time loving you and loving other people- because that’s what life is all about.  I don’t want to waste this day.”  Why should God give you another day if you’re going to waste it?

     The importance of things can be measured by how much time we are willing to invest in them.  The more time you give to something, the more you reveal its importance and value to you.  If you want to know a person’s priorities, just look at how they use their time.

     Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it.  You can make more money, but you can’t make more time.  When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back.  Your time is your life.  That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.

     It is not enough just to say relationships are important; we must prove it by investing time in them.  Words alone are worthless.  “My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.”  Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is “T-I-M-E.”

     The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.  Men, in particular, often don’t understand this.  Many have said to me, “I don’t understand my wife and kids.  I provide everything they need.  What more could they want?”  They want you!  Your eyes, your ears, your time, your attention, your presence, your focus-your time.  Nothing can take the place of that.

     The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate.  It is focused attention.  Love concentrates so intently on another that you forget yourself at that moment.  Attention says, “I value you enough to give you my most precious asset- my time.”  Whenever you give your time, you are making a sacrifice, and sacrifice is the essence of love.  Jesus modeled this:  “Be full of love for others, following the example of Christ who loved you and gave Himself to God as a sacrifice to take away your sins.”

     You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.  “God so loved the world that he gave . . .”  Love means giving up- yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy, or time for the benefit of someone else. 

    The best time to love is now.  Why is now the best time to express love?  Because you don’t know how long you will have the opportunity.  Circumstances change.  People die.  Children grow up.  You have no guarantee of tomorrow. 

     Knowing that one day you will stand before God, here are some questions you need to consider:  How will you explain those times when projects, money, or things were more important to you than your family or other people?”    ~Rick Warren

 Jacob, may you find your purpose.  May God heal the family you left behind and the children’s abandoned hearts.  God is ever forgiving, ever loving, ever merciful, ever our King.                       Starr

“How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you.”

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13. January 2010 by Starr.

Since my last blog, the Master took into Heaven a dear friend and sister of mine, Missy Welsh-Read.  It sometimes makes no sense when God takes someone at a young age of 43, so suddenly, with three young children and a whole life ahead of her…especially someone so sweet and loving as Missy.  And honestly, I can’t believe that I am even writing this today, and that she has left us.  It just doesn’t seem possible.  But, when we look at it closer, we know that Missy was promoted into Heaven, not demoted from this planet.  She got to be one of the first ones to go and she deserved it.  Right now she is up there with loved ones who had gone before, and as I stood by her bedside as she was on life support in her final hours, I asked her to say hello to my dad who passed away five years ago, and somehow I know that she heard me, and that she will. 

Words cannot express the sorrow that I feel for her precious family for their loss.  But my thoughts and prayers are with them, still.  I loved Missy, truly.  She was one of those pure hearts in this world, who never met a stranger, who always told it like it was…who never forgot anyone, or anything…who always had a way of reminding a person of who they really were. 

Missy, I will never forget you.  I love you dearly.  I will be praying for your children.  God has them safely in His watch and tender care.  I will see you again, soon.

Your sister and friend eternally,

Starr

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unsseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”   (2 Corinthians 4:18)

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6. January 2010 by Starr.

Some of us need a second opinion when we feel our marriage is possibly bad for our hearts.  We don’t trust ourselves sometimes, when it comes to marriage problems.  When we feel the need to speak up or speak out our feelings during “tiffs,”  some of us have been told we are wrong in feeling that and we begin to take on guilt and blame for problems that simply are not our fault.  It takes two to make a healthy marriage that is good for our hearts.  It takes two to make an unhealthy marriage that is bad for our hearts.  Some of us have been told that the reason we feel stress and headaches and high blood pressure is our own fault at just “not handling” issues properly…we just “need to deal” or “get over it.”  If you have been told those things…this blog is for you.

Here is what I read today on MSN.  The article was concerning 7 reasons some women die at an early age of heart attack.

This is reason number 3:

3. Your marriage

It’s normal to have your share of tiffs with your spouse, but if your relationship with your partner is marked by constant stress and strain, your risk of heart attack increases up to 34 percent, according to a 12-year study of more than 9,000 men and women published in the Archives of Internal Medicine. Researchers found that people who reported chronic conflict in their closest relationship (which, for the majority, was with their spouse) had the highest heart disease risk. The reason: All that anger and stress triggers a flood of hormones that cause the heart to beat faster and pump harder, leading to higher blood pressure and greater wear on cardiac blood vessels. What’s more, an unhappy marriage may drive you to heart-harming behaviors such as eating poorly, drinking more or smoking, says Anastasia Georgiades, Ph.D., an assistant research professor in psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Duke University School of Medicine in Durham, N.C.

To avoid a heart attack—not to mention improve your marriage—consider going for counseling, says Georgiades. This is particularly urgent advice if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe speaking up during marital spats: Women who don’t speak their mind during these disagreements have four times the risk of dying from any cause (as opposed to old age) compared with those who express their feelings, according to a recent study. So ask your family doctor for a referral to a therapist or find one at therapistlocator.net

I hope this helps someone out there.  Your life is for a purpose.  It is valuable. You are valuable.  Be strong, speak up, and know that you don’t just have to “deal” with it.

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4. January 2010 by Starr.

I’m so tired this morning.  It’s the first day the children are back in school, and it seems like so many things have been zapping my rest, my zest and my zeal.  But, I’m focusing on the fruits of my labor back in 2009 and I’m excited about the publishes coming out soon. 

“The Father’s Day,” which will be published by Insight Magazine, is perhaps, going to be my favorite publish of 2010, because it is about my father’s death.  I know that I was led to write that article and that was the hardest thing I have ever written, thus far, in my life. 

I have two short stories coming out this month, (I’ll post those on my website) and one in February, and a cover feature fiction story for a children’s magazine coming out in April.  I can’t wait to see what they did with the illustrations for that one.  Each of the characters in that story represent all four of my children.  Each of my children had a part in the development of that story, which is titled, “Danny and the Unfriendly, Spying, Copycat Dragon.” 

I’m so blessed to be able to work from home and be here for my family, and to be able to do what I love and what my purpose and passion is.  It has been a long road from the first time that I thought to myself in the fourth grade, “I think I’d love to write,” until now, when I’m actually doing it.  I’m still not “all there.”  I’m still growing and learning every day, and still have so far to go.  Someday, I think people will actually discover that I can’t write at all!  It’s absolutely true!  I can’t.  People are always asking me how I do it and what’s the secret to getting published?  I can’t answer that, except to say….that I am no one special with no special writing talent…I just go with what I know…with my gut instinct.  I write the truth of what I see, what I feel, and God does the rest.  I’m just a willing vessel that God uses for whatever He is doing. 

It’s not my talent that is the good thing, it is God that is the good thing.  I’m just the person pecking on the keyboard.  I’m so blessed to get to be that person pecking.  Here’s another thing…by picking me to be the keyboard pecker, God is risking alot.  He is risking His reputation and putting His name on the line.  Because, anyone who knows me, knows how imperfect I am.  I think sometimes people think I have it all together.  I think we, as human beings, always think others have it all together, but truth is, none of us do.  We can only do our best and be willing to change, learn, grow, pray to be forgiven for our faults, sins, mistakes, mishaps…and move forward in peace knowing that God’s mercies are new every day. 

So today as I’m tiredly pecking away and crossing things off of my long list of things to do (yes, I have to keep a list now, because my memory is not what it used to be)…I am thankful that God is my vine and I am the branch…without Him I can do nothing.  With Him, I can bear much fruit…I can’t wait to see the fruits of His (and my ) labor together.  2010 is going to be a great year.

(p.s.  the puppy Sammy has escaped….the children will be very upset when they get home…but I have a good idea that they will know where to find her.)

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4. January 2010 by Starr.

You know you have kids when you wake up one day, and you discover your dryer died sometime during the night, your bathroom turned into a rain forest, a cute little blonde boy runs up to you with a box with an imitation semi-precious gemstone necklace and earring set and says, “Look, I found you a tombstone!” and suddenly, you have a puppy named Sammy, that, as I write this, is in my hallway bathtub (that I just cleaned yesterday) getting a very splashy bath because it has officially been adopted and a rescued from a very questionable life that wasn’t puppy-worthy in the woods nearby.  Now, I ask you….how, did all of this happen?  A month ago, I didn’t have a puppy, or a rain forest in my bathroom, or a dead dryer, or a tombstone!  Now, however, I do have all of these things.  Still however….(now I’m hearing the blow dryer going on the puppy…I hope they don’t have her on my bed)….still however….I’m so very happy and all is well, because I know that I’m walking in God’s will and today all of my children are here, healthy and happy, and laughing.  Even issues that popped up last night are resolved with my oldest…I’m remembering that all battles are spiritual ones…nothing is a flesh and blood battle.

You know you have kids when battles feel much harder, much more personal, and much more frightening….when life feels shorter and you seem to look older by the mili-second. 

(I’m being summoned to see the puppy’s “new look.”  I’m hearing my daughter, Morgan saying, “Hi, puppy, how are you doing?”)  What a fabulous sound.

Thanks to God, and my children and my best friend, our new puppy, Sammy has been rescued, and so have I.  Isn’t that grand? 

Because we live in a fallen world full of ugly and nasty things that zap our strength and courage and hope we need to find the good and lovely things and focus on them. In our busy, every day lives, when things do go wrong, when “gemstones” turn to “tombstones” I hope to remember to find the lovely things in everyday life, and encourage others to do the same.   That helps those “tombstones” turn back into “gemstones” once again.

Philippians 4:8 says…”Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

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1. January 2010 by Starr.

Cheryl Starr Fercho:  Born- 10/02/2001    Died-  Sometime between 2007-2009.  The death was unexpected, but ended a long and agonizing struggle.  The ”burial” of Cheryl Starr Fercho was a private ceremony at an undisclosed location, early fall, 2009. It not only closed a chapter, but a volume, which began under another name.  This ending, as many endings do, spark a light for a new beginning, and thus begins a great new day…and many blessings and many full moons and joy filled days.  Death is never the death of anything for the christian…but only a new beginning for something else.  This death of this girl…is perfect timing for the new year.

With that said, here is a secret my heart is holding this day, the first day of 2010:  “I am focusing all my energies on this one thing:  Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.”

I have a purpose and purpose always produces passion.  I wasn’t put on earth to be remembered, but to prepare for eternity.  Goodbye Cheryl Starr Fercho.  I loved you and you were a good friend, but God was training you and preparing you for a new strength and a new purpose.  The new person you are now is more whole.  Thanks be to God that I am whole.  I am finally whole.  I have a new life and a new beginning and a mission.  I have work to do.  I best get to it. 
“The most important thing is that I complete my mission, the work that the Lord Jesus gave me.”  Acts 20:24 (NCV)

Cheryl Starr (I’ll let you know when God places a new name in this space for me.  For now, I am gloriously and wonderfully pleased with where God has me and I know my name is still written on the palm of His hand.)

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